Saturday, September 24, 2011

Honey, I'm Home....

Life has certainly taken unexpected, and unhappy, turns over the last couple years, and it has become impossible, it seems, to write, to put my thoughts out in a public place, although I know very few people ever read my blog. After only a couple entries over the last two years, I'm sure all my readers have disappeared. Still, I retain this blog hoping my ability to write is somehow resurrected.

I miss writing, even when it's something silly, because it seems like it's what I am supposed to do. What I miss most, though, are those few posts where I was able to let something out from deep inside. What has been inside the last couple years is not pretty; it's confused, scared, sad, even ugly, so I have tried to bottle it up, an effort, maybe, to make it die. Recently, though, a wise friend challenged me to face what's in the bottle, to make it my friend, to get used to its company. I can't, after all, change what it is; it has happened, it is real history, it cannot die. It will forever be part of who I am.

So here I am on an absolutely gorgeous Saturday night sitting in front of my computer when I'd rather be hiding outside or watching the final moments of whatever college football game is airing on tv. It feels good; it is easy to get lost in words. And that's how I feel when I write - I get lost in the words and then, when I come out of the woods, I love to look back and see what spilled out.

And I want to keep at it, because I know it's good for me. If anyone reads this, I hope you nag me to keep going. Even if I write something meaningless or foolish, I want to keep going, because I know that eventually something really good is going to come out.


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